Mediocrity Manifesto: How to build a lukewarm career in tech

I humbly present the best advice I can offer to forge a lukewarm career in tech:

1. Stay comfortable. Avoid colleagues who are smarter and more ambitious than you - they’ll only make you feel bad about yourself and you’ll struggle to stand out. Also, never work for a boss with exacting standards; instead find someone who lets you stay in your comfort zone.
2. Discard feedback and criticism. Just showing up for work is hard enough and you’re already trying your best. You don’t need to put up with people who think they know better.
3. Make work-life balance your top priority. Work only 9-5 and take an hour lunch every day. Doing extra work or side projects is always at the expense of your mental well-being. Also, don't forget to criticize anyone in your team who chooses to put in extra effort.
4. Quit when it gets hard. Building a career should be easy - if it starts getting hard then it means you’re on the wrong path and it’s time to get a new job.
5. Stick to your job description. If it’s not in the contract then don’t do it - demand a promotion if they want you to do more.
6. Avoid taking accountability. Whenever possible, avoid taking on projects where you have personal accountability. If something goes wrong, focus on shifting the blame to your colleagues and the circumstances you found yourself.
7. Prioritize formal education. Self-learning does not work - the only way to develop skills that anyone values is at a university. It's especially important to not waste time on books, podcasts, or side projects.
8. Always choose the job that pays best. Disregard advice about evaluating job opportunities based on learning potential, work environment, or colleagues. Just join the company that offers the highest paycheck every time.
9. Identify and highlight micro-injustices. Be vigilant for any sleight in the workplace, even when no harm was meant. Educate colleagues about the toxic, oppressive culture you're all working under.
10. Let them know what you’re entitled to. If you’ve followed the other rules on this list and have been at your company for six months, then you’re entitled to a promotion. Act accordingly.